Guilty.
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.
So very guilty.
So often I put off “the hot iron" for the sake of the task at hand,
and the tragedy is that as a result,
many of those thoughts do get pushed back into the vault...
waaaaay back. And it can be tricky to reignite the flame again.
But the hope is that it's still there…each word....living….breathing.
Yesterday I had laundry to do, a dishwasher to unload,
homework to finish, studying to catch up on…
But instead, I spent the early morning writing.
Just letting words flow.
It felt good to crack open the vault and let some light in.
And a few things fell out, wouldn’t ya know...
Oh Bellas, my time is not my own.
These moments do not belong exclusively to me.
They also belong to my little ones.
They eagerly await each day for those moments
to be brought to life in an environment that cultivates
creativity, exploration, learning & development.
They rely on it.
There are also dishes that need to be done.
Meals that need to be made.
Toilets that need to be cleaned.
Diapers that need to be changed.
All noble things.
So what’s the secret formula?
That there is no secret formula.
That even when you budget time to it’s maximum potential,
there will always be an unpredictable variable.
Especially when it comes to toddlers. Ha!
As the incomparable Bruce Lee once said,
“Be water, my friends.”
That about sums it up.
Be fluid. Go wit da flow.
Realization and flexibility go a long way here.
For me, it’s understanding that this is a unique season all of its own.
And embracing it.
It’s understanding that some days, I will choose the dishes...
Or the laundry... Or the mop...
over jotting down the burning thoughts in my head.
Other days, I will choose the hokey pokey.
Or puzzles. Or Star Wars action figure play.
And some days, I will choose the keyboard.
Or the journal. Or the sticky note.
And in between,
as I'm referee-ing toddler spats,
filling bottomless tummies,
listening, consoling, encouraging, teaching...
I’ll be gracious with myself.
And the hope is that somewhere amidst the beautiful chaos,
that balance will naturally find its way through.
So what will tomorrow bring?
When will I crack open the vault again?
Who knows.
Each day, the mystery unfolds.
Each day, it’s own story to be told.
Knowing fully, that when the moment is right,
I will unleash my inferno.
And it shall burn.
Until then, and whenever possible Sweet Bellas,
When the heat rises,
I vow to fan into the flame.
Posts
Ahhh, 'be gracious with yourself'. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteBella, I love how if feels when the words just flow (sometimes too fast for my fingers to keep up with). God has graced you with many gifts, from the amazing words he has placed in your head and on the page for encouragement to those who read it; to the three little lives you are shaping day in and day out. He is gracing you with the right amount of time to do what He asks of you. And today He asked you to write it down. I'm so glad you did!
Time...another gift from God. Every moment is precious!
Oh you know I can relate to this one! Every day. Sometimes I get down a sentence (or less) before being summoned/interrupted by others and myself. It's life. I try to remember that they won't be little for long... But if I go too long without getting down the thoughts I start to become cranky and depressed and angry. So important to find the balance.
ReplyDeleteIt is a mystery and it wouldn't be worth knowing if everything just opened itself up to us at once. I think my iron has gone cold too many times lately. One good thing is, I just need to get back in the right space and it usually warms up again. I think the hokey pokey is always worth doing. Hugs.
ReplyDelete-Gina-