Saturday, February 9, 2013

Never Tear Us Apart...

You all have heard of Ashley Madison, or maybe you haven't. Hopefully you haven't.
I saw one of their brazen ads the other day, it read, "Life is short, have an affair."
Sigh. Really??? Is it really socially acceptable to lie and cheat?
No longer shameful or taboo, just boldly out there on billboards, 
in magazine and internet ads, even competing for super bowl time slots
to make a wider audience "aware" of their services.
It really makes my spirit cringe.

Considering today's divorce statistics, being married for 16 years is kind of a big deal.
16 years!! The Sweet Sixteen. That's some cool beans right there.
But CLEARLY, there are a million ways we can drift apart.
A million ways we can lie to each other.
A million ways we can lead secret lives...
It's really just a click away, a channel away, a chat room away, a text away...isn't it?
There is no shortage of temptations and distractions these days,
and it takes a real purposing of heart to stay invested 
and cultivate our relationships DAILY. 
Marriage is a gift. Truly a gift. Don't drop the ball on this one, 
make the time to water the plant and keep the flowers in bloom.
Like a beautiful garden, if we don't nurture and tend it, 
the weeds will come and choke the life out.
Neglect can make us slowly wither inside and lead "quiet lives of desperation."
And that's a recipe for disaster. A bona fide hazardous threat. The Danger Zone.
You see it all around...on both sides of the table.
We can easily become so consumed with our own endeavors 
that we begin to lose touch without even realizing it.
Our work schedules may keep us apart.
Look, we're all busy. Our to do-lists are growing. Our laundry baskets are overflowing.
We're juggling babies and calendars and paperwork and demands.
Some seasons of our lives are more tiring and overwhelming than others, 
and can leave us feeling disconnected ~ but don't be discouraged.
Even the simplest, most subtle gestures can massage the heart and awaken the senses.

Today I want to encourage you to discover, and rediscover...
to go deeper than you've gone before...
become more vulnerable than you've been before. More uninhibited.
Let your hair down, drop the OCD, ditch the routine.
Be playful, be ridiculous, be spontaneous.
Smile. Leave love notes.
Smile more. Kiss more. Embrace more. 
Cook a meal together, dance in the kitchen.
UNPLUG when you're together.
Speak encouragement, avoid sarcasm & negativity.
(and criticism & nagging...)
Did I mention smile more?
Take a walk, listen to old music, build something together.
Pick up a copy of "The Love Dare" and try it.
Don't wait for the other person to initiate,
take action now!

Whatever you do, don't let "them" get in the way.
The Ashley Madisons of the world. The cynics.
Watch for the wolves. Protect your assets.
At the end of the day, only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart,
but your marriage is sacred and valuable.
Make it a decree to "Never tear us apart."

"What God has joined together, let no man separate." Matthew 19:6


  1. So true...every word! This is such an encouraging post! I pray that it will give strength to those who feel weary in their relationships. I pray that we all look to God first, asking Him for that strength that IS available to us and then act on it. Just one little act of kindness can melt our loved one's heart and blossom. The more we put ourselves aside and ask, "what can I do to show love to my spouse today", the easier it will become. As you said, even a smile goes a long way. The enemy wants to rob and destroy. His goal is to tear apart marriages and families - the opposite of what God wants. Don't be deceived people! Bella, thank you for your bold encouragement! Let us focus on Love and not on differences...let's look for something good in our spouse today and show our appreciation. Let's see how that turns into deeper intimacey, one gesture at a time!

  2. I haven't heard of Ashley Madison; but I know a thing or two about what you speak about here. Absolutely wonderful post and all truth. Thank you for sharing this encouraging post! <3

  3. Amen, my friend, amen. I don't know who this Ashley person is either, but that's horrible. I'm still trying to deal with how flippantly media deals with extra-marital sex, but to hear someone is blatantly encouraging people to do it is disgusting. Thank you for the words of wisdom and insight.

    And, Happy Anniversary!!!! :)

  4.'s scary to think that the norm may think it's A-OK to cheat and deceive. We just spent a weekend away with 4 other couples...I think our almost 27 year marriage was the shortest in the group. Such a shame that it's a rarity these days. Another great message you've shared...and I also love Lorraine's advice perform a daily act of kindness. I must start that :) Hope your weekend was full of joyful moments! xo

    PS...Happy Anniversary!

  5. So much truth here! Divorce is so rampant in our culture that I really do love hearing about couples who have been married 16 years. I love what you write about being intentional about your marriage. Even if you aren't going out and actually seeking an affair, it is still so easy to let the little things of life keep you so busy that you don't spend time together. So much truth. Thanks for sharing!

  6. It is terrible to see how our society depicts relationships, marriage, and love. But it is so very encouraging to see a family like yours...such a beautiful picture of what love can and should be! Thank you for sharing with me, and I hope you had a wonderful week celebrating all the good. Let's keep on encouraging other to hold strong!

  7. I don't know about the Ashley site, but it's a shame. What's next, "Life is short, get cancer!" I hope not and I hope that people can start to see through shameless marketing like that. Be proud and keep working for it, 16 years will then work it's way into a lifetime. Hope you and the family have a beautiful weekend. It's going to be so nice here, there is no way I can stay inside.

  8. 16 years, congratulations!

    I've never heard of this company. What is it they market that they would use such lines in advertising? Unbelievable. Gina puts a good spin on how ridiculous their ad is in her comment above.

    Good post.



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