Never Tear Us Apart...

You all have heard of Ashley Madison, or maybe you haven't. Hopefully you haven't.

I saw one of their brazen ads the other day, it read, "Life is short, have an affair."

Sigh. Really??? Is it really socially acceptable to lie and cheat?

No longer shameful or taboo, just boldly out there on billboards, 

in magazine and internet ads, even competing for super bowl time slots

to make a wider audience "aware" of their services.

It really makes my spirit cringe.

Considering today's divorce statistics, being married for 16 years is kind of a big deal.

16 years!! The Sweet Sixteen. That's some cool beans right there.

But CLEARLY, there are a million ways we can drift apart.

A million ways we can lie to each other.

A million ways we can lead secret lives...

It's really just a click away, a channel away, a chat room away, a text away...isn't it?

There is no shortage of temptations and distractions these days,

and it takes a real purposing of heart to stay invested 
and cultivate our relationships DAILY. 

Marriage is a gift. Truly a gift. Don't drop the ball on this one, 

make the time to water the plant and keep the flowers in bloom.

Like a beautiful garden, if we don't nurture and tend it, 
the weeds will come and choke the life out.

Neglect can make us slowly wither inside and lead "quiet lives of desperation."

And that's a recipe for disaster. A bona fide hazardous threat. The Danger Zone.

You see it all around...on both sides of the table.

We can easily become so consumed with our own endeavors 

that we begin to lose touch without even realizing it.
Our work schedules may keep us apart.

Look, we're all busy. Our to do-lists are growing. Our laundry baskets are overflowing.

We're juggling babies and calendars and paperwork and demands.

Some seasons of our lives are more tiring and overwhelming than others, 

and can leave us feeling disconnected ~ but don't be discouraged.

Even the simplest, most subtle gestures can massage the heart and awaken the senses.

Today I want to encourage you to discover, and rediscover...

to go deeper than you've gone before...

become more vulnerable than you've been before. More uninhibited.

Let your hair down, drop the OCD, ditch the routine.

Be playful, be ridiculous, be spontaneous.

Smile. Leave love notes.

Smile more. Kiss more. Embrace more. 

Cook a meal together, dance in the kitchen.

UNPLUG when you're together.

Speak encouragement, avoid sarcasm & negativity.
(and criticism & nagging...)

Did I mention smile more?

Take a walk, listen to old music, build something together.

Pick up a copy of "The Love Dare" and try it.
Don't wait for the other person to initiate,
take action now!

Whatever you do, don't let "them" get in the way.

The Ashley Madisons of the world. The cynics.

Watch for the wolves. Protect your assets.
At the end of the day, only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart,

but your marriage is sacred and valuable.

Make it a decree to "Never tear us apart."

"What God has joined together, let no man separate." Matthew 19:6

16 years and Walking on Water

This past September 2012,

Anthony & I celebrated 16 years of marriage!

How awesome is that???

And what an adventure it has been...I do not say that lightly.

I CONTINUALLY marvel at the dynamics of our personalities, 

our thinking patterns, our moxie.

I've often seen people paired that seem to have more...equilibrium.

One person tends to be the risk taker, 

while the other is more "level headed" so to say,

often bringing some balance to the equation.

But not us. No Sir-ee. Ha!

God really got some fireworks when He put "us" 

over "the Divine Bunsen Burner,"

or so I imagine...

and that's gotta make Him smile.

It sure makes me smile.

You see, we BOTH are visionaries.

Risk takers. 

Adventurers.

Tight rope walkers.

Mountain scalers.

We've always been driven by the unction

that if you want to walk on water,

you've got to get out of the boat!!!

It's required stepping away from the comfort zone,

the safe, the predictable, even in every day simple choices.

I honestly don't think we know any other way to live...

This mindset is woven into our very essence, rooted somewhere deep in our core.

Sometimes, in the late hours of the night, we feel the tug...a stirring...

beckoning us, summoning us, daring us to go deeper,

to ditch the standard and go against the flow...to live outside the box.

But the journey hasn't been without opposition.

It's taken courage to walk the path set before us

regardless of the whispers, discouragement 

and head shakes of disapproval from those on the outside looking in.

Yet with every scathe and scrape along the way, 

there have been monumental life changing principles and knowledge 

gleaned in the process.

I assure you it's been worth every moment, high and low.

And the best is yet to come.

God is stretching us and enlarging the place of our tent in the most glorious ways.

Seeds that have been planted in our hearts from years ago are sprouting.

Visions & dreams that plucked our heart strings in the not too distant past 

are being breathed to life for such a time as this.

Like the opening quote, I truly believe that 

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."

We can stay in the safety zone, or go beyond, but our horizons will adjust accordingly.

Well Sweet Bellas, 

I'm here to declare to you, 

and all the world,

 that not only do I have the courage...

but I was made to walk on water!!!

MORE!!!!

What on earth has been keeping me so busy 

that I haven't posted since SEPTEMBER 2012??!!

Well, if you must know, 

there were a few pressing matters to hold my attention, including, but not limited to: 

16th wedding anniversary reflections (quiet, but meaningful), 

an impromptu girlie spa weekend (can someone say EXHALE),

38th birthday frolic (the spoils ran-eth over)

the death of my step father (that was a biggie),

my last child's 1st birthday (talk about a milestone), 

3 rounds of sickness running through our household (mommy mode in full swing)

and tons of holiday mingles (3am, night after night, week after week)

I can honestly say that there hasn't been one single solitary dull moment to speak of.

I plan to rewind a bit in upcoming posts

and share some extended thoughts on the aforementioned.

But for now, I'd like to report that this year has started off deliciously.

While I acknowledge that each year will bring it's own challenges,

I feel stronger than ever, and believe me, not in my own strength,

Lords knows that's long since been depleted...

but in His presence.  

I feel His tenacious grip leading me forward, navigating.

It's as though I'm a child again, sitting in the back seat 

as my parents drive to an exciting destination,

with no concern for the journey at hand, simply enjoying the panoramic view.

I'm a soul at rest.

I have been very purposeful with my thoughts & time,

trying to savor those little moments, sucking the marrow out of each and every morsel,

every crack and crevice,

putting aside what's necessary at the moment to fully engage,

especially with the children.

7 loads of laundry to do? eh, whatevs...my son just got 

a star wars millennium falcon playset, it can wait!!

I have been making more time to enjoy the simple pleasures,

more time for more laughter,

more music,

more books,

more tea!!! (hello cinnamon tempest tea you scrumptious lil treasure you),

more hot baths,

more dreaming,

more silliness...

I've been going to bed earlier, 

waking up earlier, 

exercising those neglected limbs (ouch!).

Praying even more,

and am being very intentional about

stepping out into a place that demands God's Word to operate.

I've never been one to live in the safety zone anyway, quite frankly it bores me.

More on that soon...

I will undoubtedly be blogging about my upcoming adventures in regards to all of that,

but even now, geeking out on nerdy Sci-Fi shows with the Hubs,

"pinning" bizarre novelty gadget items just for kicks, rummaging through old cassettes,

Jabba the Hut pancakes & Ring Around The Rosie on the trampoline,

bachelor snacks, playoffs, pillow fights..

Unedited, unscripted, first rate, good ol' fashioned FUN!

The kind of smiles that put a slab of whipped cream, extra sprinkles,

and a big fat cherry on top 

of an otherwise ordinary day.

Yeah, the good stuff...

In the words of Ferris Bueller, 

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

The Space Between...And Green Chile

"The space between 

the tears we cry,

is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more."

~Dave Matthews Band

Harmony and dissonance.

Tension and resolution.

Relationships keep us on our toes, don't they?

The dynamics are beguiling to say the least.

And when I say relationships, I mean ALL relationships.

Parent/child. sibling/sibling. 

It wouldn't be preposterous to say all familial relationships in general, would it?

Spouse/spouse. Friend/friend. The list goes on...

We struggle to keep the peace at times.

Our hearts can be rooted in different places,

but at the core we are all the same.

We have different perspectives,

and it certainly can get messy now and then, 

but at the end of the day, 

we all long to love and be loved in return.

There are moments in my own life when I feel so overwhelmed,

not unusual considering the ages of my children.

But as small as they are, when I take a step back,

I recognize that right now so many things can be solved

with a cookie. Or a nap.  Or a hug.

As hard as this season of my life is, 

I acknowledge that I'm going to look back one day 

and realize that this really was the easy part!

When my heart is discouraged, I try to remind myself of that.

Is there is a relationship in your life 

that is in a volatile state at the moment?

I want to encourage you to return to that place in your memory.

Even if just for a moment.

That place where you shared laughter and understanding.

Where you shared a favorite meal, or a favorite song.

Where you shared smiles and silliness.

That place that, in spite of your differences, 

keeps you coming back for more...

That place where you're reminded of why you love them, 

and always will,

even if that means loving them from afar.

Praying that, if possible, the kinks will be ironed out soon, and that in the meantime, your heart will find rest.

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Green Chile

I shared the recipe for green chile last year 
( CLICK HERE for the recipe).

but thought you might enjoy seeing pictures of the process. 

This is a recipe that reminds me of family, 

and regardless of how complicated familial relationships can be, 

it reminds me of the good times we share. 

When I make chile, it always makes my heart smile.

I was born to do this...

photo credit

"I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, 

but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times."

~Bruce Lee 

The Olympics are dominating our television set,

and at times, it's hard to pull ourselves away.

We find ourselves glued to the action.

The behind the scenes. The back stories.

The triumphs. The disappointments.

Michael Phelps. Ryan Lochte.

Missy Franklin. Lolo Jones.

The list goes on...

There's a unification that occurs during these events...

For a moment in time, 
people of different gender, race, creed, 

and political views come together

not to "offer" their opinions on every topic under the sun, or debate them,

but to cheer on our fellow countrymen (& women) as they strive for excellence.

To be the best in the world.

There is something that stirs in our hearts as we watch these athletes 

pushing themselves, their will, their determination, their bodies to the very limit.

The focus. The dedication. The caliber. The commitment it takes to get to this platform is undeniably inspirational.

I think there's something inside of all of us that desires to put ourselves to the test. 

To reach for the stars. To rise to the occasion. To bring people together.

To hone in on our talents, and shine.

What are you impassioned about? 

What makes you come alive?

What awakens your inner man?

Do you write? Write! Do you create? Create! Do you build? Build!

Repeat after me...I am not afraid...I was born to do this.

Now....do it! 
Then do it again. And again...and again...
(repeat 10,000 times)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others."

~ M. Williamson

Keep Shining Sweet Bellas!

I'm Sorry...

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse."  

~Kimberly Johnson

"I'm sorry."

Two simple words, but such powerful words indeed.

They have the power to heal. Restore. Reconcile.

The power to acknowledge. Validate. Conciliate. 

To bring peace. Mend. Harmonize.

Have you hurt someone? 

Directly or indirectly? 

By word or deed?
Or lack thereof?

I have. 

I think we all have at one time or another.

Sometimes we try to complicate an apology.

Give a list of reasons why. Explain. Justify.

But what I've come to learn is that more often than not,

people do not want the explanation,

they don't care about the details...

they just need the apology.

Simplicity. Sincerity. Authenticity.

It truly is a healing salve.

G.K. Chesterton said "The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; 

he wants to be healed because he has been hurt."

Sigh. Thanks for keepin' it real Chesterton.

Sweet Bellas, if there's an unresolved issue in your life,

and you've been wanting to make things right, 

Now is the time.

Keep it simple. 

Keep it sincere.

Don't worry about how it's received,
sometimes it takes time for the wound to heal.

Don't let pride get in the way,

Just do your part. 

"So if you are offering your gift at the altar

and there remember that your brother has something against you,

leave your gift there before the alter and go.

First be reconciled to your brother,

and then come and offer your gift."

~Matthew 5:23-24